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Swingley
Swingley is a classmate of Dylan's who has a number of physical and mental issues. Often heard saying "I'm Swingley!" to introduce himself or at apparently random intervals. He is voiced by Maria Bamford. Biography In the pilot series, Swingley starred as a one-time character, appearing in the season finale episode, Dylan Crushes Reading. He and Dylan both attend a special after school program, that helps children who have issues, learning to read. Whereas Dylan can't read due to a lack of effort, Swingley seems to have genuine mental blocks that stop him from doing so. He is also a problem child, much like Dylan, going on rampages in class and using a switch blade to break open a coin slot to retrieve more tokens. He is also Dylan's first crush, and she is reluctant to admit so, leading to Golan ruthlessly harassing her for it. However Golan eventually uses this force to learn Dylan how to read by kidnapping Swingley, forcing her to go through a number of reading trials to find him and save him. While this surprisingly works, and Dylan does learn to read, Golan nearly kills Swingley anyway for his own amusement, only for Dylan to set him free. Leading to Swingley severely injuring himself by leaping off the roof of the building he was being held on. In the series, Swingley is still the same as he was in the first, both in character and as Dylan's first crush. He appeared in the episode Shame on Pee and introduced himself the same way he did in the pilot season. Dylan wants him in the "Cult of Golan" and claims that she only wants to use him as meat shield, Golan refuses and mocks her for having a crush on Swingly. When it is revealed that Golan wets the bed, Dylan uses this knowledge to force Golan into letting Swingly into the cult. After she storms into Swingley's bedroom on a makeshift wrecking ball, a giant rock with rope, she kidnaps him. Swingley showed an interest in Dylan, saying he thinks she's 'pretty', flattering her. Dylan brings him to her basement. There she tries to make him a member of the cult while Golan is too busy getting ready for the party. As he has to prove his loyalty to Golan, by doing jumping jacks while having a cookie in his butt cheeks, it is revealed that Swingly has been kidnapped before as he says: "You guys are so much nicer than the last couple who kidnapped me." After this he crams the cookie up his butt and starts doing jumping jacks. When Dylan and Golan start arguing, and Swingly is still jumping around, Dylan claims how Golan wets the bed. This causes Swingly to immediately stop with jumping and repeat Dylan's words before suppressing his laughter. Golan warns Swingly, but he merely points to Golan, say: "You wet the beds!" and laugh. Because of the laughter Golan accidentally releases his "Shomoculus", a demon that feeds on people shame. The demon circles around the basement before going into Swingley's nose and making him his host. The demon, now residing in Swingly, tells Golan that he's planning on telling everybody about his secret. Golan fights him with a ruler, but unfortunately the demon manages to dodge every attack. Fortunately, a the wall crashes down and knocks him unconscious, which Golan mistakes for him being dead and even orders Dylan to brick him up in the wall to seal away their secret. When Dylan is nearly done bricking Swingly up, it is revealed that he isn't dead and asks her to set him free. After she questions if it's really him, or just the demon pretending to be him, he tells her: "If I were the monster, could I tap-dance like this?" after which he starts to tap-dance. Dylan sets Swingley free, only to find out that it was in fact the demon, and soon chases after him. It is also revealed that the demon can change hosts as it leaves Swingly to posses Grandpa. When the demon posses a pigeon and flies away, Golan, Dylan and Swingly find out that the demon is headed to the one place where it can embarrass Golan the most: Keith's party. Once there Swingly makes a notice of how they can't see everybody's eyes due to the 3D glasses. Dylan grabs him by the arm like a shield and uses him to hit the glasses off of everybody's face. Eventually the secret is out and the demon grows three to four times it's original size, crushing a new helicopter in it's rampage. As a big chunk of the helicopter comes falling down towards Dylan, Swingly pushes her out of the way while yelling: "I'm a human shield!". This causes Swingly to get crushed instead of Dylan. She rushes to him and pulls off the helicopter part and tells him to scream in pain if he's alive. A now severely injured Swingly simply replies with: "I've served my purpose." Dylan confesses to him that she likes him and it is revealed that by admitting to your personal Shame, you harm the demon. Soon everybody on the party starts doing so and the demon starts shrinking. With the demon being eaten by the shark, after it shrank so much due to everybody confessing (except for Golan), Dylan proclaims Golan's victory, as he now knows everyone's secret. As she proudly proclaims she now has a boyfriend, Swingly, apparently oblivious to the fact Dylan is referring to him, congratulates her and tells her that he too has a boyfriend, revealing he is already in a relationship, and with another boy. This leaves a shocked and crushed Dylan to be brutally mocked by Golan. He is later seen walking off into the night, holding hands with his boyfriend. Appearance Swingley is a little boy with short and messy blonde hair and lopsided blue eyes. He has a bunch of freckles on his cheeks and a tooth that protrudes from his mouth. Swingley wears a long dark orange T-shirt and blue shorts. He has black and white sneakers and one white sock. He also has a white arm cast on his left arm. Personality Swingley is a very weak, scrawny boy who can pass out simply by holding his breath for a long time. He is very lame and wimpy and can be pushed around easily by everyone. Swingley is an extroverted kid who is very talkative and social, but he is still very weird and awkward, talking about bizarre things in front of other people when he tries to bond with them. He expresses weird talents like drawing the United States from memory and holding his breath until he passes out, and because he's so different, he doesn't have any friends except for Golan and Dylan who he actually has some really good relationships with. In Shame on Pee, Swingley even went out of his way to save Dylan's life, while sacrificing his own in the process. Overall, Swingley is a really amazing kid, who wants to show it, but doesn't always have the chance to express his personality. Swingley doesn't seem to ever take offense from anyone rejecting him as he seems to keep his happy, quirky emotions even when bad things happen to him. Swingley also seems to be oblivious when it comes to bad things happening to him, allowing him to treat the suffering and negativity in his life head on and not let anything hurt him with the power of blissful ignorance. Relationships *'Dylan Beekler' - Dylan is one of Swingley's few friends. Dylan has a crush on Swingley that he is oblivious to. Because of this, Dylan denies Swingley's weaknesses and acts as though he's a useful person to the Cult of Golan. She sometimes uses him as a weapon and he serves that purpose pretty well. However, Swingley may not share the same romantic feelings for her because he is already in a relationship with his boyfriend. This doesn't entirely put an end to all of their chances together. It's possible that Swingley is bisexual, and that he might reciprocate Dylan's feelings for him. When Dylan broke into his house to kidnap him, Swingley immediately recognizes her as a classmate of his from school, and told her that he thinks she's pretty. When Dylan confessed that she had romantic feelings for him, he smiled. *'Golan' - Golan is an acquaintance of Swingley. He doesn't really interact with him much. Golan believes Swingley is weak, and that he would make a terrible addition to his army. *'Swingley's Boyfriend' - Swingley is in a romantic relationship with his boyfriend. Not much is known about them because his boyfriend was only seen for a very short amount of time. They seem to like to hold hands and go for romantic walks into the night together. Episode Appearances Pilot Season *Dylan Crushes Reading Series *Shame on Pee Trivia *In the episode Dylan Crushes Reading, Swingley listed a bunch of mental disorders and bodily dysfunctions that he had. He listed dyscalculia, dysgraphia, sensory integration disorder, dyslexia, and incomplete small intestines which gives him diarrhea a lot. *In the episode Shame on Pee, Swingley was kidnapped by Dylan for cult-following purposes and made the two comments "I get kidnapped a lot" and "You guys are so much nicer than the last family who kidnapped me." This implies that Swingley is the victim of a lot of child abductions. *Another gag that happened in Shame on Pee, involved his mom introducing a guy named Fred to him, saying that he's an exact blood match and that he'll be cured. This implies that Swingley is suffering from some kind of a blood-related teminal disease. Gallery Swingley is happy.png|Swingley is happy to see Dylan. Swingley is possessed.png Bloody Swingley introduces his boyfriend.png|Swingley introduces his boyfriend. Category:Characters Category:Major Characters Category:Males